All of us, at some point, have struggled with change.
We all want to enjoy better results — money, success, travel. Most of us want to develop better habits – exercise, reading, time-management. Some of us even want to have better intentions – happiness, health, love. For simplicity, let’s call these intentions (why), habits (how), and results (what) “the aspects of our lives.”
Even if we get really motivated to improve our life, it’s tough to stay consistent. It’s more likely that we will be the same old person within a few months.
Why is that? How can we make change easier?
It’s a basic concept that can genuinely change your life. It’s not that “one hack” that will fix everything, It is simply the starting point to transforming your life.
The concept is self-image.
What Is Self-Image?
In 1960, Maxwell Maltz wrote a book titled Psycho-Cybernetics. In his book, he emphasized the self-image as the most important psychological discovery of his generation. Consciously or unconsciously, we all carry around a mental model or image of ourselves.
This self-image is our own perception of “who I am.” Our self-image is a collection of thoughts, beliefs, and paradigms we have about ourselves. This collection has been shaped by our past experiences: our successes and our failures, our flattery and our humiliation, and how people have treated us.
TLDR: A significant psychological discovery, the self-image is a collection of thoughts, beliefs, and paradigms about “who I am.”
How Does Self-Image Work?
So how does this important psychological discovery work?
Like a servomechanism.
A what?
In engineering, a servomechanism is an automatic device that uses feedback to correct the action of a mechanism to achieve a specified goal – speed, position, temperature, or other parameters.
Examples of servo mechanisms:
- Cars have a cruise control mechanism to achieve a goal speed
- Planes have an autopilot mechanism to achieve a position goal
- Thermostats have an expansion mechanism to achieve a temperature goal
Each of these mechanisms has a controller (driver, pilot, or person) set a clear-cut goal(speed, location, temperature). After the controller sets a clear-cut goal, the servomechanism works automatically to achieve the goal by using feedback to automatically change the course of action.
In the car, the controller (a driver) sets a clear-cut goal (speed). After the driver sets the desired speed, the cruise control servomechanism automatically slows down or speeds up the car to achieve the desired speed. The mechanism uses feedback (the current speed of the vehicle), if the car is going too fast, it slows down. If the car is going to slow, it speeds up.
Our brains work similarly. In fact, the “subconscious mind” is not really a “mind”; instead, it is a mechanism, an automatic, goal-striving “servomechanism” consisting of the brain and the nervous system.
Humans do not have two “minds” humans have one mind, the consciousness, which is the controller operating the subconscious mechanism. After the conscious sets a clear-cut goal, the subconscious servomechanism works automatically to achieve the goal by using feedback to automatically change the course of action.
The autopilot in a plane is indifferent to the goal it is fed. It will work automatically to achieve goals (locations) of heat and dryness or cold and wetness depending on the location which the pilot sets for it.
The subconscious mechanism, not having a mind of its own, is also indifferent to the goal it is fed. It will work automatically to achieve the goals of success and happiness, or failure and unhappiness, depending on the goals which you set for it.
TLDR: The subconscious is an automatic, goal-striving mechanism controlled by the conscious mind.
Why Does Self-Image Matter?
You see, humans have a natural desire to remain consistent with how we see ourselves (our self-image). You will always act like the type of person you perceive yourself to be because the key goal the subconscious mechanism works to automatically achieve is the self-image.
“All your actions, feelings, behavior – even your abilities – are always consistent with your self-image.” -Maxwell Matlz
A thermostat tuned to a certain temperature will always find a way to be consistent to that temperature regardless of the weather outside or the number of people inside.
Similarly, someone who perceives himself to be a failure will always find a way to fail, in spite of all his good intentions, will-power or quick fixes. Even when this person feels more successful, he will find a way to self-sabotage because his subconscious servomechanism is automatically adjusting his life to be consistent with his failure self-image.
TLDR: Humans need consistency; therefore you will always act in accordance with your self-image. Moreover, your subconscious servomechanism automatically works to achieve this consistency.
The Four Circles of Consistent Success
The key to creating consistent change in your life is to first change your self-image. Everything in your life, like Your current intentions, habits, and results are a reflection of your current self-image.
Think of how we typically try to create change. We might begin by focusing on the results we want or the habits we want to develop or the intentions we want to have.
These processes start from the wrong place because real change begins with self-image (identity) change.
To understand what I mean, consider the diagram for change below.
The key to consistent change is to focus on who you want to be. Then let your subconscious automatically adjust the other aspects of your life to be consistent with your self-image.
The Steps for Consistent Success
Using your self-image to create change is actually quite easy. Primarily since your subconscious works automatically, you do not have to put in as much conscious effort as you think. Follow this simple process:
- Decide who you want to be
- Develop intentions (why) for that type of person
- Create habits (how) for those intentions
- Think of the results (what) from those habits
If you struggle with this process, begin by thinking about the kind of results you want: to be happier, become healthier, or get a promotion. Then, work backward to thinking what the self-image of these people is? What is the self-image of a person that has the life I want to have?
Want to be happier?
Who: Think of yourself as a happy person
Why: Happy people enjoy life and are better for others
How: They do this by thinking abundantly, practicing mindfulness, and being grateful
What: This results in higher productivity, better relationships, more creativity
Want to be healthier?
Who: Think of yourself as a healthy person
Why: Healthy people feel better mentally, physically and emotionally
How: They do this by exercising regularly and eating properly
What: This results in a better appearance and more confidence
Want to get a promotion?
Who: Think of yourself as a great worker
Why: Great workers are happier and contribute more to their company
How: They do this by being on time, having a strong work ethic and having a great attitude
What: This results in more professional opportunities for advancement
Do you see how the who (self-image) is consistent with the other aspects of life: why, how, and what? This consistency is because the subconscious worked automatically to achieve the self-image goal it was given by the conscious mind.
My Happiness Journey
Why does he care about self-image enough to write an article about it? Is his ego that big?
No.
I actually used to be a miserable person. Over time, I got tired of being unhappy and decided I was not longer going to settle for unhappiness.
I tried to achieve a multitude of happiness results (what) like better relationships and success. It did not work, so I tried developing better happiness habits (how) like exercising, reading, and even creating a website on happiness. These habits did not last, so I decided to change my intentions (why), like enjoying and appreciating life, for becoming happy.
Changing my intentions also did not work; however, regardless of the setback, I did not give up, and I did not give in.Staying the course, I would have periods of significant progress and feel quite happy. It was like I had finally figured it out.
Then, my subconscious would kick in yelling, “HEY, what do you think you are doing? You are not a happy person, who do you think you are?”
Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable and started to self-sabotage. I started doing dumb stuff like being self-critical or focusing on negative thoughts. I also stopped exercising, reading, and working on the site — all the things that made me happier in the first place. Worst off, I would justify these behaviors with “rational excuses” like “I’m too tired” or “I’ll start tomorrow.”
It was tough to stay consistent, I was the same old unhappy person within a few weeks.
This cycle repeated itself over and over again until I decided to change who I thought I was (my self-image issues). I started to think, “I am a happy person,” so my subconscious mechanism automatically worked to make me happy. My intentions became happier leading to my habits becoming consistent with those of happy people and I am now seeing the results of a happy person.
Side note: I care about self-image because reading 1 book (Psycho-Cybernetics) helped me make more progress towards being happy in 4 months than the previous 4 years (and 30+ books) combined.
The Mechanism Creating Your Life
The self-image is your key to a better life.
Our subconscious automatically works to achieve consistency in all aspects of our life. It works to make our intentions (why), habits (how), and results (what) consistent with our self-image. To change your self-image, You can use your conscious mind to consistently feed your subconscious data on the type of person you want to be.
Think “who I am” is the most important part of my life. Stop focusing so much on the why, how, and what. Start focusing on who you want to be because the intentions, habits, and results — the aspects of your life will automatically become consistent with your self-image.
To implement self-image change, follow the 4 circles of consistent change method to finally transform your life.
TLDR: Changing your self-image is the key mechanism in creating a better life.
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