This story is personal, and I’m only discussing it because of how it pertains to learning about faith. In 2015, negative thoughts that I had repressed over the years came flooding out and pushed me into a deep depression for 15 months. Regularly behaving became hard because I perceived all my behaviors negatively. My once fulfilling relationships felt empty and my favorite pass times became dull. However, about a month into my depression I resolved to take my life back into my own hands, I thought to myself: “This sadness has always been present in the past, and I will guarantee it disappears.”
My new mentality was to ensure that nothing would go wrong again. At this point, I was excessively self-critical of my previous mistakes and felt that I had not accomplished anything meaningful. To overcome these pessimistic thoughts, I decided to take a break from everyday life and re-invent myself.
“Re-inventing myself,” was the lie I told because I was scared to live life. During this period, I read a lot of self-help books, watched multiple Ted Talks and analyzed numerous articles. I convinced myself that once I knew everything would work correctly, I could begin living life again. I continued over analyzing everything using the excuse, “I’ll start living after this book, or I’ll start living next semester.” I wasn’t reinventing myself; I was delaying living life.
Taking a Leap of Faith
This error is quite common. We consistently overthink and overanalyze our decisions for assurance. We want guarantees we made appropriate decisions. It’s natural to desire correctness for our actions but is it worth the stress we receive? After realizing added pressure provides no benefit and more information is not always useful we realize it’s best to take action. At some point, we should take a leap of faith and trust life.
Think of taking this leap of faith like jumping from a popular cliff diving spot, rather than a blind leap of faith like jumping into an abandoned river. You know the water below is safe because it is a popular area and you have seen multiple people make the jump before. While logically you know that you will be safe, the remaining uncertainty makes you anxious. What if the body of water is too shallow or there are sharp rocks?
Worrying about the outcome causes you to start reasoning. You look at the temperature outside, research how the creek’s water levels vary with the seasons and relentlessly play out situations in your head. Continuing this over-analysis, you ask everyone you know about the creek. They all give you different information because they have varying experiences. With all these opinions you are now more confused than ever. Of course, the best solution is to gather more information (sarcasm intended). At some point, you have to make that leap of faith.
All You Need Are 20 Seconds
A great quote to help in decision-making is, “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it” – Benjamin Mee. Gathering those 20 seconds and jumping is your leap of faith. Taking a step forward and backing out is simple; therefore, it is important to finish the 20-second period.
Fully submerge yourself in the water to allow your body to adjust; you can always get out after 20 seconds if the water is too cold. Fully experiencing the creek caused you to understand it. In his Stanford Commencement Speech, Steve Jobs said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backward.” You learned about the creek looking backward, after jumping in, instead of looking forward, by anticipating how it would feel.
Only focusing on the 20 seconds and connecting the dots looking backward have been crucial to my decision-making process. I used to dissect my future decisions looking forward obsessively, and even after taking action I would compulsively monitor my progress for assurance. I jumped into the creek but was unwilling to submerge myself for the full 20 seconds; therefore, part of me felt normal, and part of me felt unnaturally cold. I wasn’t getting the best of either side but rather the worst of both. Being trapped in the middle changed when I followed my instincts and faced my fears.
I had been thinking about taking this action for quite some time but continuously overthinking paralyzed my efforts. Eventually, I figured, “I will act and connect the dots looking backward.” For mental preparation, I continually repeated, “20 seconds, 20 seconds, 20 seconds.” I completely submerged myself at this moment; I felt accomplished for trusting my instincts. I thought everything would work out as planned; however, I realized it would work out differently than I had hoped. I was disappointed.
Conclusion
Not every leap of faith ended as I had hoped, but I soon realized that from each “failure” I learned valuable lessons. The Benjamin Me quote stated, “I promise you, something great will come of it” not “It will work out the way you hoped.” I realized from each “failure” I learned essential lessons. In the end, everything seemed to work itself out, and I never regretted going out my comfort zone. Steve Jobs said,
“You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.” Connecting the dots looking backward, I realized the lessons from these leaps of faith are more important than the results. This experience, along with learning to trust my intuition (gut) and life has given me the courage to take more leaps of faith.
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